Winging It

Oh it is so painful!

Ok, so on the 19th of every month those pesky people at UCI (which I think is really just part of Mt. Vernon Hospital) (Useless! and Things I Really Hate) call to bug me and make sure it’s ok to charge my account.

Because they’d be really understanding if I said “No.”

Anyhow, as I’m sure you’re all aware, I’ve moved jobs and now work at PBS. Which of course means the number they need to call to contact me is not the same (because heaven forbid that they call my cell). So I leave a message with my account rep (who never actually answers the phone, but I think that’s policy) saying “Go ahead and debit my account. Call XYZ if you need to talk to me to confirm it.” You’d think that’d be a good start.

You’d be wrong. So today, the 23rd or 4 days after they wanted to debit my account, they try calling my old work number. “Why?” you ask, why because the person who was handling my account no longer works there and no one thought that “Hey, maybe we should check her voice mail.”

Ok, that’s it. This is fucking ridiculous. I asked the new rep how I can go about getting them to just automatically do this every month without me having to confirm it every single time. And of course, now I have to fax in something. Ok, I think, I’m never going to remember what it is that she wants me to fax. so I ask, “Could you e-mail me the information you want me to fax you?”

I’m sure you’ve all heard a pregnant pause before, but when have you heard a pregnant pause when asking about e-mail in an office environment? Good God, they’re morons over there!

So she called and left a message detailing what she wants me to fax. This is absurd. Don’t they have a damn form that they can at least mail to me with all the information that they want? Geezus, this is… it’s beyond ridiculous.

Ok, so we all know about the wonderful saga of Inova Mt. Vernon Hospital’s billing practices, right?

Well, so now my second payment to the oh-so-friendly collection agency is coming due. However, in their infinite wisdom they sent it 8 days before it is due and neglected to indicate where the check is supposed to be sent and to whom it should paid. They did, however, provide a self-addressed (stamped?! bah, silly mortal) envelope. This becomes important later.

So I call and leave a message with my contact there, asking if I could get that information (far be it from me to inconvenience anyone). Ok… so she calls and leaves a message with all of what I need.

Guess what… yes oh astute reader, you got it, the payment should go somewhere other than where the provided self-addressed envelope would be going.

sigh This is just never going to end. I can feel it. The damn thing will be paid off and something is going to come up. Bastards.

Like, oh, say the hospital. Well, Inova Mount Vernon’s. And to be fair, just the billing department. You see, they charged me a large sum of money to have my appendix removed.

Ok, fair enough. However, they offer no reasonable way to pay them back other than by big ol’ lump sum. Now I ask you, if someone does not have health insurance, what is the likelihood that that person has large sums of cash hanging around?

Sure, I suppose some do, but honestly it can’t be many. I think I’m going to stop ranting about them, however, because it just pisses me off more and I’d rather just move on.

“Move on?” you say. Why yes, move on and deal with the collection agency they decided to sic on me. Fortunately, the collection agency is way more logical, understanding and helpful.

Stupid idiots.